Toxic relationships can be very difficult to talk about because it’s difficult to admit that someone you care for and who cares for you is toxic to you. This is why admitting you are in a toxic relationship is hard.
An easy way to define a toxic relationship is this, If a relationship with someone is physically or emotionally damaging to you, it is toxic.
There is a common misconception that toxic relationships are only associated with romantic relationships, but believe me when I say they come as friends and sometimes family.
Some common traits of people that are toxic are:
Negative Nancy – If someone rarely has anything positive to say to or about you, is always sad or depressed around you, or every time you’re in a situation you can count on them to remind you of how bad it is, there is a huge chance they are toxic. If you can add the fact that you seem to never have a good idea (in their opinion), I have one word for you – TOXIC!
Narcissism – There is only one director/producer/cast in the world of a toxic person, them! They don’t care about anyone but themselves and somehow every conversation has to lead back to how awesome they are.
Zero Accountability – Try telling a toxic person that they’ve done something wrong? You have better chances of getting through to rock. It doesn’t matter if there is concrete evidence, they will lie, twist words in their favor, try to manipulate you, and where those fail, they will blame anyone (including you) but themselves.
Chronic manipulators – This is possibly one of the easiest traits to spot in a toxic person. I used to have a room mate whose way of asking for a ride was “can you drop me off at the bus stop, it’s okay if you say no because everyone says no to me”. They want to have full control over you, so they turn everyone against you and you against everyone. A part of me believes they do this because they know they are toxic and feel like if you have no one else you would have no choice than to stick with them? Then again I am no psychologist.
Jealous Joe – You can’t have a win around a toxic person, at best you have to be second best (in their mind of course). They have an ‘I’ mentality and will hoard any information that might help you grow just to make sure you are always beneath them. If you have a win around them, rather that say congratulations, they will remind you of a win they’ve had that’s bigger or better than yours, or take away your joy by reminding you of how their life sucks.
I could go on and on, but to keep this concise, let’s talk about how to deal with toxic relationships.
You are probably not going to like this solution but take it from someone who was in a toxic relationship for over 12 years (watch video to hear story), it is the only way to deal with this. CUT THEM OFF! It is not your job to fix anyone. Truth is, you cannot fix anyone just as no one else can fix you.
To end this, toxic people create toxic environments that’s bad for both your physical and mental health. You are your priority and as such it’s important to protect your positive energy. Staying in a toxic situation doesn’t do you or them any good. I also find that sometimes cutting off a toxic person could be that jolt they need to make a change in their lives. In the long run, you will be doing them a favour.